Row, Row, Row Your Boat
A Year Ago Today
A few moments later, I watched her open her eyes and gaze upon this new world of hers for the first time, and that is how I will always remember my daughter's birthday.
Today in History:
12/30 First Los Angeles freeway dedicated, 1940
12/30 Anniversary of the Democratic Republic of Madagascar in Madagascar
Merry Christmas
We later went over to our friends the Fladagers for Christmas dinner and cheer, and they did a wonderul job of making our Christmas special. It is good to see that my daughter can bring joy to others outside her parents.
Today in History:
12/25 Isaac Newton (Sir) born in Grantham, England, 1642
12/25 Birthday of Quaid-i-Azam in Pakistan
12/25 Children's Day in Congo
12/25 Christmas
Fun with My Daughter
Click on the image above to see a great video clip.![]()
McKenzie is becoming a very active and vocal little girl. Her feet are in constant motion, and she is not afraid to vocalize her state of mind, whether a shriek of joy and a scolding whine.
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Time Slice of My Daughter
Click the image above to play the scene.
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Father's Day
He is the best Daddy, and as I have said before, I am lucky to share my life with my very best friend. I was feeling bad because I couldn't physically get Kiet the present that McKenzie and Koda wanted to give to their Daddy for this special day. I tried to tell him this and he said, "You already gave me the best present ever." Then he walked me to where McKenzie was sleeping peacefully in her stroller and then kissed me.
It may not have been the great adventure that I was hoping to give him for his first Father's Day, but he once again made my life just perfect for a moment. He is sure to do this with his daughter in the coming years, and I can't wait to watch her grow and see all the special moments that she and her daddy will share.
Happy Fathers Day, Kiet.
Today in History:
06/18 M.C. Escher born, 1898
06/18 Evacuation Day in Egypt
06/18 Queen's Birthday in Fiji
06/18 Paul McCartney born in Liverpool, England, 1942
McKenzie's Journey Toward Solid Food
Click the image above to play the scene.
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Today in History:
06/04 Julian Elischer
06/04 Jason Evans
06/04 Thomas Moestl
06/04 Roquefort cheese developed, 1070
06/04 Emancipation Day in Tonga
06/04 Queen's Birthday in New Zealand
Fears for My Daughter
Even in my everyday life, though not as extreme in Iraq or India, I am saddened by the disparities between men and women even in our free society and can only hope that those disparities will eventually fade with the passage of time. Then I turn that inward and worry about if I am setting the proper example. My action will speak louder than my thoughts or words. The best thing I can for McKenzie I realize is that I can show her that it is possible for a man to love and respect a woman as much as I do her mother.
Today in History:
03/22 Abolition Day in Puerto Rico
03/22 Ten Years After plays their last concert, 1974
The Sugar-Plum Tree
When reading aloud, I have noticed that my mind works much faster than my mouth and often find myself a sentence ahead of where I should be or transposing words. If my reading is a strong indicator of my verbal communication skills, I am amazed that anyone can understand me at all.
McKenzie will lead me away from my world of babbling. When reading to her, I slow down and form my words and sentences carefully. I am sometimes still a sentence ahead of myself or transposing words; however, it is happening less often. Thanks, McKenzie for an old dog new tricks.
Today in History:
03/19 Mikhail Teterin
03/19 Swallows return to Capistrano
03/19 St. Joseph's Day, obeserved in Colombia, Costa Rica, Holy See,
03/19 Tree Planting Day in Lestho
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My Daughter
There is nothing so empty as a pool without a trout, particularly when the guilt is yours.
Friday was McKenzie's two month doctor appointment and first round of immunization shots. Her weight was 13 pounds and 2 ounces, and her length was 23 inches. Her thrush has completely passed. The doctor was pleased with her overall health and development.
My Daughter
I haven't been to mass in years, and it's strange what power a tiny little 9-week-old child has. As I sat in church, I reflected upon a simplistic version of Pascal's Wager in my mind. I am well aware of the holes in Pascal's argument. However, I cannot help but wonder if I owe it to my daughter to at least establish the framework of possible peace and solace in the faith and belief in God.
This begs the question of whether or not I believe in God. I would have to answer yes. I believe that there is a purpose to the universe, that there is something that transcends everything, which I cannot begin to understand. However, I become stuck on the concept of a personal God and cannot conceive of a God that takes a personal interest in my existence, any more than I take a personal interest in a particular bacteria that happens to exist in my stomach at this particular moment. To tell you the truth, I am OK with that. I take comfort in the fact that programmed in my being I strive to be, for the lack of a better word, good and that I now have a daughter to teach, grow and develop to that guiding principle of goodness.
This weekend marks the start of the 2006 Portland Saturday Market, McKenzie's first. Originally I wanted to come down to see the local Starbucks Avante-Grande exhibit, consisting of works created by local Starbucks baristas. However, the gallery hosting the exhibit was closed, so we strolled along in the Pearl Disctrict.
We eventually stopped at Powell's Technical Books. I was looking for a good refresher book on mathematics, McKenzie was catching a good nap in her stroller, and Jill was bored. Whenever I disappeared from her sight, my phone would ring with a text message from her.
Jill eventually managed to get me out of the bookstore with only three books: Everyday Math Demystified, The Magic of Mathematics and Noodles Fusion, and now she was hungry.
I wanted to try the Bijou Cafe. I had read good things about it, and if the lines outside of it on the Sunday mornings while in the neighborhood on our way to Mother's bistro were any indication of its worth, then it was worth the visit. However, it was closed or in transition for dinner.
Then we discovered that the Portland Saturday Market (& Sundays Too) had opened for the season, stopped for a bite to eat at several of the many food vendors and then strolled along the rows of artist vendor booths.
With our fill of the Market, we turned back toward the car. We stumbled across hanna Andersson in the Pearl District, which was all bad. To make matters even worse, I threw a catalog into our shopping bag. Now I know you that you are probably wondering what is hanna Andersson, and I am being obscure on purpose. Go out and explore the web. Though scary at times, it won't bite, and I'm sure you will see McKenzie with her items from hanna Andersson in the near future. :-)
Today in History:
03/05 John Belushi dies in Los Angeles, 1982
03/05 Frodo & Samwise encounter Shelob (LOTR)
03/05 Independence Day in Equatorial Guinea
03/05 Mother-in-Law Day
Are You My Mother?
Mother and daughter continue to do well. McKenzie now has bouts of smiles. Her thrush seems to have finally dissipated, and she continue to gain weight. Based my crude weighings on the bathroom scale, she tips the scales at about 13 pounds. It is amazing how much she has changed in such a short time. Her development is a wonder: the way she holds up her head, how her eyes now focus, how she can tune into our emotions and how she can now play and entertain herself. It is a bittersweet feeling, watching my daughter grow up so fast.
We have added another book to McKenzie's Library. This time Jill has read her P.D. Eastman's Are You My Mother? Enjoy.
02/24 Winslow Homer born, 1836
02/24 Johan Karlsson
02/24 Ents destroy Isengard (LOTR)
02/24 Impeachment proceedings against Andrew Johnson begin, 1868
02/24 Gregorian Calendar Day
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McKenzie's First Hike
However, it was such a nice Sunday. While enjoying my morning coffee, I picked up our copy of the Lonely Planet guide to the Pacific Northwest off the bookshelf and began reading about Portland. We have lived here for more than three years now and still know little about the place we call home. We still have much to see and experience. I wanted us to be outside and explore our home. I wanted McKenzie, from an early age, to learn to explore and appreciate the world before her as my parents had done for me as a child on our Sunday drives to the local state park or forest.
While thumbing through the Lonely Planet guide, it recommended, if you only had the opportunity for one day hike in the Columbia River Gorge, Eagle Creek Trail No 440, and that was as a good place to start our exploration as any. However, first was the matter of breakfast, especially on a late Sunday morning, and I treated Jill to her favorite Sunday brunch spot, Mother's Bistro & Bar in Portland.
After breakfast, we headed east on I-84 toward the Columbia River Gorge. The Gorge was created during the last Ice Age. Behind an ice dam in western Montana was the 3000-quare mile Glacial Lake Missoula. The lake's water level eventually rose high enough to float the ice plug and release the glacial melt and icebergs into the Coumbia Basin. The event was so catastrophic and immense that the geological record shows that the flood level reached a thousand feet above present-day The Dalles, about 80 miles east of Portland. However, this didn't happen just once, but at least forty times over the course of 2000 years as the ice dam in western Montana re-formed, glacial melt waters re-collected and then, when the water became high enough, the ice dam lifted away again and again.
Instead of continuing down I-84, we turned off onto the Historic Columbia River Highway, the precursor to I-84 and the first large-scale paved road in the Northwest. The road, inspired and designed after the mountain roads of Italy, Switzerland and Germany, opened in 1915 between Troutdale and Hood River, and the section between Hood River and The Dalles was completed in 1923. This is where we came across Wahkeena Falls, Wahkeena meaning "most beautiful", and we stopped.
After Jill dressed her in her fleece winter suit, I strapped McKenzie into her Baby Bjorn, and Jill grabbed Koda. We hiked up to the upper viewpoint of the Falls, about .2 miles. In the shadows of the Gorge, the temperature, though comfort, had a slight nip, and we failed to bring McKenzie mittens. It didn't take long before McKenzie's hands were cold, but she never complained or griped about it. I tried my best to warm them up by holding them in my hands or blowing on them. I knew then that Eagle Creek Trail No 440 would have to wait for another day.
Since we were so close, about the seven miles farther east, we decided to scout out the trailhead. Parking at the trailhead was almost full, and car break-ins seem to be a major problem as I saw several signs warning hikers about taking their valuables and not parking here overnight. The guidebook warned about the popularity of this trail. Jill feed McKenzie while Koda and I walked around. According to the trailhead map, the trail featured six waterfalls along its length.
We will definitely return another day.
Today in History:
02/12 Abraham Lincoln born, 1809
02/12 Charles Darwin born in Shrewsbury, England, 1809
02/12 Lincoln's real birthday
02/12 Santa Barbara oil leak, 1969
02/12 Pyidaungsa Day in Burma
02/12* Rosh Chodesh Adar (Beginning of the month of Adar)
02/12 The Beatles play Carnegie Hall in New York City, 1964
Curious George Goes to a Movie
Before, I was using my portable MiniDisc recorder, dumping the recording into my laptop and then editing the raw recording with Audacity. GarageBand allows me to utilize all my digital media (music, photos and movies) into the final product. For example, for those who subscribe to my podcast using iTunes, you will notice that the image to the left is used as the cover art for this podcast. I could have added additional photos and created a podcast slideshow or a video track with a podcast soundtrack.
However, due to my anal perfectionist nature, I still have problems turning out material in a timely manner. I drive Jill up the wall, playing and editing the single clip over and over again for days. I am often amazed that I can get anything accomplished at all.
Anyways, here is the second installment of McKenzie's audio library.
Mother and Child
Her feeding schedule now seems to be on track. She is waking herself up and letting it known that she is hungry. Though not sleeping through the night, McKenzie does sleep for decent stretches. Jill and I are allowed a few hours of sleep between her night feedings.
However, Jill is having troubles with low milk supply and is now treating a yeast infection in her breasts, believed to have been passed onto her from McKenzie's thrush. McKenzie's thrush is still present, but controlled. Jill is now treating her infection with a prescribed cream, and it has helped.
Because of the thrush, Jill has been diligently pumping her breast milk rather than breast-feeding. She has also been taking the herbal supplement fenugreek, which is to help increase her milk supply. One of the side effects is that it causes her sweat and urine to smell like maple syrup, and I have given her the nickname Pancake. Though the fenugreek did increase her milk supply slightly, it wasn't enough, and the lactation consultant prescribed Reglan, or metoclopramide.
So far, Jill's milk supply is still half what it should be. Despite the obstacles before her, I am proud that Jill continues to try her best to provide our daughter with breast milk.
Today in History:
01/20 George Burns born, 1898
01/20 Poul-Henning Kamp
01/20 St. Agnes Eve (Ah, bitter chill it was...)
01/20 Army Day in Mali
01/20 National Heroes Day in Guinea-Bissau
Mother and Child
Since coming home, McKenzie has developed thrush, or candiadiasis, in her month, a cottage cheese-like coating. Initially, Jill and I believed that it was just dried milk on her tongue; however, on my early morning feeding watch on January 6th, while Jill and McKenzie slept, my fears overcame me, and I was soon googling thrush, its symptoms and treatment. Dried milk will wipe away; thrush will not. If left unchecked, thrush could cause McKenzie pain in her mouth and result in her not feeding. In the first days of her life, McKenzie already had difficulty feeding.
That afternoon we took McKenzie to the pediatrician, Lauren Rose. She weighed in at 8 pounds and 1.8 ounces and had dropped 13 ounces from her birth weight, ten percent of her body weight. By two weeks, infants should have regained their birth weight. McKenzie had now definitely reached the concerned level. After reviewing her feeding diary, Lauren prescribed increasing her intake to 50 ml of breast milk or formula every two hours or 75 ml every three hours. Lauren then also treated McKenzie's thrush with Gentian Violet and prescribed oral nystatin to be applied four time a day. We made an appointment to come back on Monday.
Over the weekend, McKenzie's thrush greatly improved, though she still had patches of it on the back of her tongue. Jill and I religiously stuck to the new feeding plan, waking up McKenzie for feeding on schedule. Before McKenzie would sleep long stretches in between feeding; now she was waking up on her own, a good sign. I would rather deal with the sleep deprivation than a sick child. By Monday, McKenzie weighed in at 8 pounds and 8.8 ounces; she had regained 7 ounces. Finally some progress.
However, McKenzie's thrush still persisted. Though not as widespread as before, the thrush was growing thicker in the patches at the back of her tongue and the roof of her mouth. As a preventive measure, Jill has been on the antibiotic Cephalexin, which has been passed onto McKenzie through her breast milk and caused the thrush. Until Jill is done taking the Cephalexin, the thrush would probably persist. Today is the last day of the antibiotic, and hopefully the beginning of the end of the thrush.
Jill and I could tell that the thrush was causing McKenzie some distress, which became most evident when she found relief when we applied the nystatin. Yesterday, we made another visit to the pediatrician, and Lauren applied another coating of Gentian Violent. McKenzie also weighed in at 8 pounds and 12 ounces, only three ounces off her birth weight and still a day left before the two week mark.
Jill also had her follow-up appointment with Doctor Sig-Linda Jacobson, the delivering physician. Jill had the staples removed. Her incision had healed nicely, and mother was in good health. Throughout the whole experience, Dr, Jacobson has been a godsend in a getting us through this pregnancy. The three of us - Jill, McKenzie and I - would like to express our gratitude to Dr. Jacobson.
Today in History:
01/13 Horatio Alger born, 1834
01/13 Sophie Tucker born, 1884
01/13 Wilhelm Wien born, 1864, Nobel prize for blackbody radiation laws
01/13 National Liberation Day in Togo
01/13 Eric Clapton plays the "Rainbow Concert" in London, 1973
Green Eggs and Ham
As she grows, we will be a constant in her life. She may find it difficult to release us from our ageless roles as parents before it's too late, waking up one morning as an adult and finding her parents not the constant as she remembered but old. However, she will always be able to hear us as young, excited parents reading to their infant daughter.
I started the library with Dr. Seuss's Green Eggs and Ham.
Today in History:
01/08 American Telephone and Telegraph loses antitrust case, 1982
01/08 Herman Hollerith patents first data processing computer, 1889
01/08 Justice Dept. drops IBM suit, 1982
01/17 Justice Dept. begins IBM anti-trust suit, 1969 (drops it, 01/08/82)
01/08 Battle of New Orleans
01/08 Elvis Presley born, 1935
01/08 David Bowie (then David Robert Jones) is born in London, 1947
Home
Prior to being released from the hospital, the pediatrician expressed her concern about McKenzie's yellowish coloring and wanted her bilirubin levels tested, a blood test. McKenzie had been heel-poked so many times during her brief life and stay at the hospital. When her results came back, her level was thirteen. Twelve and under is considered normal. McKenzie sits on the borderline and will require us to closely monitor her.
The lactation consultant also stopped in again before going home. She stopped in the day before to help us with McKenzie's nursing. Jill and I want the best for McKenzie and believe breast milk is the best for her. So serious about this were we that, prior to McKenzie's birth, we took a Saturday from our busy schedules and attended an eight-hour breast-feeding class. To be honest, we walked away from that class overconfident.
Breast-feeding isn't instinctively natural for mother or child; it is a learned behavior, and one that is not as readily taught as before. So many mothers end up giving up on breast-feeding so quickly because they haven't learned and then cannot teach their nursing children. Here we are now, at the crossroads. McKenzie doesn't know how to latch and nurse, and Jill and I are struggling to learn as quickly as possible to teach her before it's too late.
The medical staff at the hospital are all gun-ho about extolling the virtues of breast-feeding. However, the training program at the hospital is sink-or-swim. With such a short stay after delivery, it isn't reasonable for the staff to have made you and your baby nursing experts by the time you go home. In hindsight, despite our efforts to educate ourselves, Jill and I should have spent more time and effort being better prepared for this challenge.
However, at least initially, the staff made us feel that feeding our child was either breast milk straight from the breast or settle for formula from the bottle. The lactation consultant eased our worries by having us concentrate on McKenzie's immediate nutritional needs without feeling like we were bad parents for bottle-feeding pumped breast milk with formula supplementation. The formula supplements are just a temporary stop-gap measure. She also helped us establish a reasonable set of goals: stabilize McKenzie's immediate health, establish Jill's milk supply, phase out the formula supplements and then establish feeding at the breast. At home, though still using formula, we are working at achieving those goals.
With a major abdominal surgery, Caesarean Section, Jill was limited in how she could hold and position McKenzie to feed. During that time, not knowing if she was getting anything from mother's breast, we now wonder if McKenzie received enough colostrum. If we had been more proactive, pumped earlier and bottle-fed her the necessary colostrum, would we have been able to stave off the jaundice fears? Would Jill an I have been relieved from the fear that our child wasn't doing well because we didn't do the right things?
The expectation is that others with knowledge will help you find your way in the darkness of your ignorance, to step in and prevent you from making the misstep. Before my missteps were pretty much my own; now they are also those of my infant who knows no better. I find myself looking at this little life before me, and I worry. I worry that I am going to harm her with my ignorance.
However, I combat this worry, this fear, with doing the best I can, learning and absorbing as much as I can, and, most of all, hoping that I don't stumble too badly along the way.
Today in History:
01/05 DeWitt B. Brace born, 1859, inventor of spectrophotometer
01/05 -50 degrees F, Strawberry UT, 1913
01/05 Fellowship enters Moria (LOTR)
01/05 The FCC hears the first demonstration of FM radio, 1940
01/05 Twelfth night
01/05* Parashat Shemoth














